Dear Br.Valery

I am not known to you, but would like to share the following text with you because it might be of interest to you. Please forgive me if I have bothered you in any way by sending this e-mail.

Sincerely,

Arun Angelo Patil, M.D.
Omaha, NE (USA)

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE-The essence of Christianity

God (who is love) put His Spirit of unconditional love into every human being by becoming one of us and giving up His own life for us on the cross. Those who believe in His Spirit and accept it by living His life are Christians. This booklet has made an attempt to look at who God is, and what it means to live His life.

WHO IS GOD?

Like a computer, every living entity has structure and programs.
However the structure and programs of living entities are exceedingly more complex than those of computers, and have a multitude of capabilities (i.e. multiplication, growth, self preservation, adaptation) that computers do not have. An example of complexity of structure of living entity is the presence of genes (in their nuclei), which send messages to developing structures to precisely form them according to the codes (in the genes). An example of complex programs in living entities is the program in ants to organize labor, obtain right building materials, and build highly sophisticated castles. Such programs are built-in and not learnt or thought of, because they are present even in animals like ants that do not have brain. Since computers, that are relatively very simple devices compared to living entities, have makers, living entities must have a maker. We call the maker, “God”.
Since the make up of God’s creation shows infinite intelligence, God must have infinite intelligence. Similarly, since God gave human beings unconditional love, He surely must have unconditional love. Unlike emotions (i.e. hatred, anger, jealousy, greed), which develop as reactions to our experiences in life, unconditional love, because it is unconditional, cannot develop as reactions to life experiences. It therefore had to be put into our heart by our maker. In fact, this love is His own Spirit, which He put in us by giving up His own life. Those who accept and live His Spirit bring His peace to themselves and to those around them; and in them we see the face of God. Those who reject His Spirit turn to evil. Their evil acts result in pain and suffering in the World.

God is one, but has three separate roles, namely: Creator, Redeemer and Sanctifier, that act in perfect unison. Since each of these roles acts in perfect love, and love needs free will, the God that acts in each of these three roles has a free will independent of the others. This makes God of each of these roles a separate person: namely Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

WHAT IS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE?

To love is to live God’s life. It is to completely and unconditionally give of ones self to help others; it is not a feeling. True love therefore is selfless, unconditional, pure, patient, gentle and humble.
It gives to others unceasingly and totally, and expects or seeks nothing in return. Because it is unconditional, it is eternal (I Cor.13: 1-8), it does not make a distinction between friend and foe (Matthew 5:43-48), loyalist or traitor, faithful or unfaithful, saint or sinner, rich or poor, young or old, born or unborn, black or white, and countryman or alien. It hates none, loves all, and forgives and helps even those who inflict hate, ridicule and hurt. Therefore, if we have true love for anyone we will have true love for all and hate none. Similarly, if we hate even one person we can’t have true love for anyone. True love takes no pride in it's own achievements. It is not boastful and delights in the success of others. It is never happy about its opponent's failures, and shares in their suffering. It does not try to get ahead of others or prove its superiority over them. It is free of anxiety due to its selflessness. It does not judge and ridicule others. Unconditional love (which is of God and is seen in the sacrificial life of Jesus) is the only TRUTH because it is eternally the same and does not change with time or circumstances. When a person does anything wrong (even when it is done in good conscience), it hurts that person and the society. Therefore, although unconditional love understands others views, in order to prevent them from hurting themselves and others, it always speaks the truth. It always shares its faith with others, corrects errors and doesn’t accept what is wrong.
However, it does not condemn those who do evil acts, because it knows that God’s spirit (which is present in all human beings) gives them hope. It therefore makes them aware of any goodness they see in them, and helps them to build on this goodness a life of unconditional love.
It unceasingly persuades them to do what is right. In order to change their hearts it prays for them and on their behalf gives up self (by making sacrifices and quietly accepting pains and sufferings of life).
True love forgives by showing mercy, and never seeks revenge. True love never seeks fulfillment or reward for acts of love, because to love (which is to live God's life) is the only true fulfillment. True love sees all human being as brothers and sisters, and recognizes the face of God in their goodness (because all goodness comes from God), and in their physical, spiritual and mental suffering (because God's love makes Him present in those who are suffering). True love is never jealous or lustful, and never seeks interest of one over the other. True love never competes. It trusts God completely and accepts His will unconditionally. It never despairs, gets nervous, or anxious. It always has hope and peace.

Because of His love for us, God made us to share His own life and have His peace and joy. Although we rejected Him and were unfaithful to Him, He did not give up on us or condemn us. Instead, to save us from destruction and make us members of His family, He came into our human family as our brother, put up with our hatred, taught us to love others as He loved us, and on our behalf emptied self completely by accepting suffering, humiliation and an extremely painful death (for speaking the truth). In doing this He compensated for our imperfections and put His own sacrificial life (of Love) in us; and thereby made us His sons and daughters. He thus established a communion of life with us. Since His life is a life of love (which involves total giving of self), He could put His life in us only by sacrificing His own. He memorialized this sacrifice by giving us His sacrificial body and blood, as real food (in the form of bread and wine), so that we may receive His eternal life by eating His body and drinking His blood (John 6:51-57). This communion of life that God established with us is His New Covenant with us. By it He becomes our Father and we become His sons and daughters. This communion brings us complete peace and joy because it is the inner most desire of our heart. In order to continually nourish us with His body and blood, allow us to join Him in His sacrificial offering and make the sacrifice a continuous process He commanded His apostles to make this sacrifice as often as possible. In doing this He commanded each one of them to be a priest in His person. This makes each priest a husband to His Church and a father to her children. The Church therefore requires that priest be celibate. The Church also established celibacy for people who choose religious life so that they may espouse Christ and His Church and thereby accept God’s graces for all humanity.

God offers His life to all. If we accept it, His spirit will purify our life and change it to His. Through His Church, He makes His life readily acceptable to sinners and people with very little faith. His Church gives us rules, which help us to live His life. Jesus also helps us by giving us graces through the sacraments and by compensating for our imperfections (which He did when He died for us on the cross). In order to protect our conscience from errors and guide us to the truth, He appointed Peter and Peter’s successors as His visible representative on Earth. In order to help them to accomplish their tasks He sent them His Holy Spirit, and gave them authority to guard the deposits of faith and teach infallibly on morality and faith. (John 21:15-17 & Matthew 16:18-19).

The process of purification is painful because we have to part with self. It is also slow (because we get distracted by the temptations of the World), and usually is not completed before death. However, if we stay sincere about accepting God's life, we are guaranteed to be purified to perfection by Him.


HOW DO WE BELIEVE IN GOD?

Faith in God is to believe that He has infinite love for us, that this love enabled Him to put His life into every human being (which He did by giving up His own life on the cross) and that to live His life of love is the only way to have eternal peace and joy. God gives this faith to all human beings. Those who accept it, receive it. All we have to do to accept it is to recognize that we are sinners who need His help and with a sincere heart ask for help. Then, even if our faith is as small as a mustard seed, God can help us to make it mighty enough to move mountains. Faith brings peace and true love in our heart, and saves us from selfishness and hatred.

When we do not get what we ask for, or receive the opposite, we doubt Him. However, we should remember that He has already given us the only gift we really need, namely, the gift of His own life. God always answers our prayers. He answers them in such a manner that in the long run it will make us a person with greater faith and love (because faith and love will ultimately bring us true peace and joy). Because of this, sometimes He will not give us exactly what we asked for, sometimes He will delay granting our petition (to a time which is more suitable according to His wisdom) and sometimes He will even allow tragedy to come upon us (like He did to Job). However, in every situation He is always with us guiding us to do what is right so that something good will out of it.

Many people lose faith in God when they see evil and natural disasters in the World. However it is not God, but the selfishness in our heart that produces evil; which in turn disturbs the balance in nature to produce genetic defects, natural disasters, diseases, and wild instincts (in animals). The hurts come not only to those who do evil, but also to all who live in the World. God allows evil in the World because He has given us free will, which is essential in order for us to exercise unconditional love. However, He gave redeeming value to pain and suffering (which are the results of evil) by taking pain and suffering of the entire humanity upon Himself on the cross. Because of this pain and suffering can give us endurance, and help us to get rid of selfishness by making us realize our frailty and dependence on God. In fact, without pain and suffering none of us can get rid of selfishness. Furthermore God protects us from doing evil, by giving us His own life, and by guiding our conscience through the teachings of His Church.

We should not get anxious about doing things. Instead, we should be calm and accept in our heart whatever God wants to do through us. We should not worry if there is a waiting period when nothing seems to happen. We should also not get worried or anxious about the results of our works, because, if our work is truly good, it is not ours, but His. The results may be a total failure in the eyes of the World, and may not become evident in our lifetime. However, our fulfillment does not come from what people think about our works, but from accepting God's life.

We can choose between God (who is unconditional love), and selfishness (which involves money, power and lust). We cannot choose both because they are contrary to each other (Matthew 6:24). When we choose selfishness we become fearful, jealous, angry, hateful, revengeful, insecure and hopeless. This puts a person in a state of total isolation, which in essence, is hell. When we trust God (i.e. have faith in Him), we accept His will, and live His life of unconditional love. This frees us from anxiety, feeling of insecurity, fear, selfishness and sin. We will then not think about our own feelings. Instead, we will reach out to others to help them. We will do good deeds, not because we are afraid of Hell, or want to win Heaven, but because we believe that God is our Father, and want to live His life. This attitude puts one in a heavenly state of love and joy.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO FORGIVE?

To forgive is to give up resentment or claim we have against our offenders, and compensate for their wrong doings by our prayers and sacrifices. God forgave us of our innumerable offenses against Him by showing us mercy. He did not give up on us, hurt us or ask for compensation. He showed us mercy, by dying on the cross to compensate for our sins and give us His own life. True forgiveness therefore is an act of self-giving love and mercy. It frees us from resentment, hate, and anger. True forgiveness brings us peace and joy. Because forgiveness is an act of love, it forgives others without any limit. (Luke 17:4, Matthew 18:21-35)

When people hurt us, we feel we have lost something. This makes us vengeful and hateful, and takes away peace and joy from our heart. We demand compensation in order to take revenge and get back something in exchange for what we have lost. However, if we realize that God's life in us is our only true treasure (which no one can take away from us), and that everything else is temporary (and therefore worthless), we would never feel we have lost something and have resentment. Furthermore, because of His life in us we would be merciful toward our offenders, and help them to find healing through our prayers and sacrifices. We have to remember that only God's mercy gives us heaven. To receive it, we have to believe in it by showing the same mercy to others.

WHY IS WAR WRONG?

God puts His Spirit (life) in every human being (thus making us capable of living His life) because of His infinite love for us. This makes all of us, temples of His Holy Spirit. Therefore, taking a human life (including one's own) or disrespecting a human being, are acts against God. For this reason war (which involves killing human beings) is wrong. When we go to war for a just cause, we try to overcome injustice by killing human beings. When we do this, we use evil to solve our problems, and thereby perpetuate evil. This is why we continue to have evil in the World even after the destruction of evil empires (by war). Peaceful negotiation is the only loving way to solve conflicts. During such negotiations we should practice love and be willing to give to the other party more, than they give us. Furthermore, military should be used for defense and peace only; its operation (even when it is used for peace and defense) should never be aimed at killing human beings.

Sometimes we feel that war is absolutely needed to stop ruthless tyrants from committing atrocities. However the evil empire of Soviet communism, which was more ruthless (during Stalin's time) than Hitler's empire, was overcome by prayers; and not by the death and destruction of war. On the other hand war was used to destroy Hitler's empire. In this war millions of innocent people were killed, families were broken and properties were destroyed. This war did destroy Hitler's evil empire and stop its atrocities, but it did not eliminate evil in the World; it actually increased it. This is why we see war zones (in the inner cities), broken homes from divorces, law-suits in large numbers, shooting in schools, child abuse, and legal killing of millions of unborn babies by abortion.

Capital punishment is a form of war in which we kill human beings, because we condemn them for their crimes, and want them to make restitution. The usual crime, for which this punishment is given, is murder. Because this punishment itself is the same evil act for which we are imposing the punishment, instead of removing evil, it perpetuates evil. Condemnation in capital punishment means that those who are condemned to die have absolutely no hope for getting better. On the other hand, salvation means that all human beings (especially the worst sinners) have the hope for a new life (which God gave us by losing His own on the cross). Therefore, those who advocate capital punishment are rejecting salvation; and without salvation there is no eternal life. Since all of us have had hate (for another human being) in our heart, we are murderers (I John 3:14-18), and therefore cannot condemn another human for being a murderer. Even Jesus who was without sin did not condemn us. In addition, we cannot demand restitution from others because Jesus has already restituted for every human being's crime. Obviously violent criminals should be isolated from the rest of the public in order to protect society until they are rehabilitated.

The greatest war mankind has ever experienced, is the war against innocent unborn babies, in which 10-15 million helpless human beings are killed each year in their mother's womb. Women have abortions because they are unwed or teenagers, or their pregnancy has resulted from rape or incest, or their baby has deformities, or it is inconvenient for them to go through the pregnancy. However, because abortion is an act of killing a human being, it brings perpetual unrest to the mother. On the other hand if she goes through the pregnancy, she will always have peace, because she found hope in her tragedy, and cared for her baby more than for her own feelings and comfort. Some people justify abortion because they feel that a fetus is not a human being. However, right from the time of conception a fetus has its own unique genetic make-up (which distinguishes one human being from another), and is in a state of developing into a full grown human being, like any other human being under the age of 21 years. Some people justify abortion because the mother’s health or life is in danger. However, one cannot take the life of a human being for any reason and true love does not prefer one human being to the other. Therefore effort has to be made to treat both human beings with the best available methods.

Euthanasia and suicide are also acts of war because they kill human beings. People choose them because they feel hopeless or want to end pain and suffering. Our only true hope is to receive God's life of unconditional love because it is the only truth. Since God offers this to us freely, there is absolutely no reason to become hopeless and resort to euthanasia or suicide. Although it is normal to have mental anguish from pain and suffering, we can find joy and peace in them by allowing God to give them redeeming values. We can do this by surrendering self (in Jesus' spirit) on behalf of others (who are suffering due to turmoil in their heart) by quietly accepting the suffering, so that they may accept God's life of selfless love, and find peace. When we do this, we are actually joining with Jesus' pain and suffering, which He bore for our salvation. Pain and suffering accepted in this spirit will bring God’s peace and joy to us, and to the people for whom we accept them.

Many people feel that to live with pain, suffering and severe disabilities is undignified, and therefore choose suicide or euthanasia. However, our true dignity comes from God's love for us, and His life in us. For this reasons a homeless person has the same dignity as any head of state. When we fail to recognize this dignity, it indicates that we do not believe in God's love for us and His life in us. Without this belief we are without hope. And without this hope we can never find peace.

WHAT IS CHRISTIAN JUSTICE?

Christian justice is revealed in the life of Jesus. When we were unfaithful to Him and rejected His friendship, He did not give up on us, condemn us or take revenge. Instead, He prayed for us, and compensated for our sins by taking the punishment (of death) of our sins (that we committed against Him) upon Himself. Christian justice therefore does not condemn or sue others. It exercises mercy, by helping others to recover from their weaknesses (by showing them unconditional love) and by compensating for their offenses (by sacrifices and prayers).

We exist because of God's mercy. Therefore the only right we have is to live His life by showing the same mercy to others. We should therefore fight the selfishness in our heart instead of fighting for our rights or our position in society. We should help both the oppressors and the oppressed by sharing God's life with them, rather than fighting or condemning the oppressors. We can share God's life with them by our actions, prayers and sacrifices.

Jesus tells us not to offer resistance to injustice (Matthew 6:39-47), not fight for our belongings (Luke 12:13-15), give our jacket as well if someone takes our shirt, offer the other cheek (Luke 6:29-30) if someone slaps us on one, not ask back the things others have borrowed from us (Matthew 5:38-42), love our enemies and do good to them, pray for the happiness of those who curse us (Luke 6:27-38), give and expect nothing in return, forgive others unceasingly (Matthew 18:22) and keep it a secret when we do something good for others (Matthew 6:1-4).

WHAT IS A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE?

A Christian marriage is a covenant between husband, wife and God. In this covenant God gives His life to their union, and compensates for their inadequacies (which He did when He died on the cross); and the couple take a willful and honest oath to live His life, by unconditionally surrendering self to love the other, and together (as a couple) surrendering selves by leaving their union fully open to receive and serve new human lives (that result from their union).

Because of our selfishness, physical or psychological inadequacies, immaturity of thoughts, or inadequacies of will or consent, we can never take a perfect oath or fully fulfill our marriage covenant. However, the marriage sacrament is always perfect, holy, permanent and valid; because Jesus who fully understands its significance, who alone is capable of giving a full consent and commitment, on our behalf makes a perfect commitment (oath) to the Father, compensates for our inadequacies (which He did on the cross) and makes our sacraments perfect. For this reasons no one can question the validity of the covenant or break it. This is the core of our faith: God offers His life to us through the sacraments, which Jesus through His death and suffering accepts on our behalf and makes a perfect offering of our life to the Father. Divorce therefore is never allowed, and those, who marry divorced persons, commit adultery (Matthew 19: 4-9).

It is a common practice to use loopholes in the Church’s legal system to judge marriage sacraments invalid or non-existent in order to permit remarriage in the Church. Such judgments are presently done in large numbers and on multiple occasions (for the same person). This practice casts a great doubt on the Jesus’ teaching on the indissolubility of marriage and His redeeming role in the marriage sacrament, resulting in increased number of divorces, with all the ill effects it has on society and children. Such judgments are therefore harmful to the souls of the involved individuals and to the society. A solution to this problem is to have a thorough investigation of marriages by marriage tribunals prior to marriage sacraments so that annulment process will not be necessary.

Divorce is an act of selfishness because each thinks about him/her self rather than the other; of hate, because one condemns the other in his/her heart; of war, because each acts against the other; of despair, because the couple feel the situation is without hope; and rejection of God, because they break the bond of Love, who is God. Divorce therefore produces eternal unrest in the spirits of the couple and affects everyone around them.

Because of our sinfulness, we will always have problems and painful situations in our marriage. However if we imitate Jesus by not thinking about our own feelings or interest, and think about others, especially our spouse, we will find peace and healing. Furthermore, if we truly believe that Jesus wiped away our inequities by taking them upon Himself on the cross, then we can be absolutely sure that our inequities that prevent us from getting along with each other can be overcome. We will then find hope in hopeless situations, love where there is hate, peace where there is discord, and see the face of God in the pain and suffering of our spouse. Sometimes the stresses of marriage may seem unbearable, especially if our spouse is alcoholic, abusive, mentally ill or unfaithful. However if we remind our self, that Jesus bore suffering, humiliation and death; to compensate for our unfaithfulness and wrong doings toward Him, rather than condemning us or giving up on us; and imitate Him; we will be able to bear suffering without condemning or giving up on our spouse. We can change our and our spouse’s heart by unconditional love, prayers, sacrifices and spending time with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. In our prayers we should surrender ourselves completely to His will by asking Him to be our thoughts, feelings, desires and actions; and by asking Him to fill our and spouse’s hearts with His Holy Spirit, and kindle in us the Father’s love.

Marriage is a union of love. In this union neither party can bring forth a new human being by themselves; so that each complements the other to make one unit of love, from which children are born. This makes it a one to one relationship. For this reason, one man can marry only one woman, one woman can marry only one man, adultery is a grave offense, and if a person has been previously married and the spouse is alive, there can never be another marriage sacrament.

Sexual union is physiologically a procreative act. Therefore, for it to be an act of love it has to be a union (which makes it unitive) between a male and a female who have unconditionally surrendered self to the other (i.e. have a life long commitment in marriage), and have collectively surrendered selves by leaving their union fully open to accepting children (which makes it procreative). In other words, it must have both, unitive and procreative elements. This union is also an act of faith, because they trust God to give them children when and, as, He feels fit. When unmarried couples engage in such an act it is selfish (even if they are willing to freely receive children) because they do not have a lifelong commitment to one another. When a commitment is not life long, it has conditions attached to it, and therefore is not true love. Our Lord tells us that adultery, fornication and other immoral acts defile a human being (Matthew 15:19-20). St.Paul restates this when he tells us that fornicators and adulterers will not inherit Heaven (Gal 5:19-21). Sexual acts with the use of contraception’s and contraceptive methods are extremely selfish because they lack procreative element, and the possibility of receiving and serving new human beings are deliberately eliminated. They therefore frustrate the very purpose of sex (which is procreation), which is similar to those intentionally vomit in order to frustrate the purpose of eating (which is nutrition). Because such acts are selfish, they make one human being look at the other as an object of pleasure and removes love from their relationship. This is one of the reasons for increase in divorce after the popularization of artificial birth control. Oral and anal sex, same sex activity, masturbation, artificial insemination, in-vitro fertilization and cloning (of human beings) are also acts of selfishness because they lack unitive and/or procreative elements. They are also harmful to the involved individual’s spiritual, mental and physical well being because they are unnatural and some of them involve union of physiologically incompatible organs.

A PRAYER

Father! You are all that my heart desires, and You bring me complete peace. I thank you for making me, and giving me Your life through Your son Jesus, and through Him, making me your son/daughter.

I am sorry for not trusting You, seeking self-interest, and depending on money and power to protect me. I am sorry when I used war, revenge, lawsuits, divorce and hate to solve my problems; rather than choosing love.

There are many temptations in the World that tend to take me away from You. But You protect me and guide me against evil. You have put Your joy into my heart, so that even in the midst of suffering, I have peace. I know that with You as my Father, I have nothing to fear. I can sleep at night, knowing that You will always defend me against evil.

To accept Your love by living your life is my only desire. Your love (which I can never lose) is everything that is good, and all the riches of the World are nothing compared to it. Therefore, if I lose everything I own I have lost nothing.

Father! You always hear my prayer. Even before I have thought of my petition You know it and come to my help. When it looks like nothing is happening You are at work doing what is best for everyone. Through Your Son You revealed Yourself to me. He showed me Your infinite and unconditional love when He changed my life by taking the guilt of my sins upon Himself and compensated for my wrong doings against Him by dying on the cross. He was not concerned about His own feelings when I hurt Him, but was concerned about the hurt I was causing myself by going against You. When I hated Him (by hating other human beings), He maintained His love for me; when I put Him down (by dominating others), He humbled Himself and became a human being in order to help me; when I spat on Him and mocked Him (by speaking ill about others and ridiculing them), He gave me self-esteem by making me Your child; when I scourged Him and nailed Him to the cross (by laying heavy burden on others and taking them to trial), He took the burden of my sins upon Himself and healed my wounds; and when I killed Him (by condemning others in my heart), He gave me His life.

Father! I want to be holy and pure, as You are. Jesus consecrated me to You and made me a member of Your family (by giving me His own life), so that I may grow in truth and holiness, and have Your peace and joy. Help me Father to cleanse myself of selfishness, so that I may accept the gift of Your life to me, and make a pleasing offering of my life to YOU.