It’s difficult and complex to clarify the frontier between political issue and loving one’s relatives or simply loving one another. Indeed, the number of "lucky" people, who had successfully escaped from the communist government, was minimal (about 1%) compared with that of "unlucky" people who must, willy-nilly, continue to stay and to live within their homeland under a regime that most of them never accepted. These "unlucky" people have to work hard, even too hard, but they couldn’t surely afford providing themselves and their families with daily meals. By my own experience during nearly three years living on a boat with intention to flee overseas (Cf. Journal 1) I witnessed, not only once, fishermen who during three days and nights on the high seas had captured some kilograms of prawns and had to submit all to the coast guards. If they failed doing that, they would get into trouble with the government, i.e. their licenses confiscated and they would be put in jail. In such case, can the so-called National System in overseas categorize those fishermen as "cooperating with the despotic communist government?"

***

I had been one of those "lucky people" for more than a year before. At the refugee camp in Palawan, I did think of sending "something" to my Confreres and relatives. But how? When I had arrived to Paris and been resettled at the Drancy community, my very first thought was of looking for means "to do something for my beloved Confreres and relatives in Vietnam." Every time I went shopping, I took more plastic bags than necessary because I noticed that these plastic bags are much cleaner and in better shape than those in Vietnam after ‘75 that, people used to make joke, "were recycled for the tenth time." There were enough plastic bags stocked in my room, but "sending nothing else but these plastic bags to Vietnam seemed to be... crazy!"

For a long time, Vietnamese people "believed" in medicines "made in France" more than others "made in any other countries" . It would be understandable because France was the first western country to colonize Vietnam, by the beginning of the 19th century, and to bring into Vietnam the western socio-cultural facilities, particularly in the field of medicine. I did know that Vietnamese people who had fled overseas right on April 30, 1975 or within some years later that date, sent to their relatives many gifts from the United States. These "gifts" were surely appreciated but not quite wanted, because their relatives would earn less money by selling these gifts than if they would receive and sell medicines, particularly medicines "Made in France."

I came back to the Ordre de Malte three days later, with my former student, Huy Hoàng, who had been in Paris a year before. I asked him to accompany me to the Ordre de Malte because he could listen to and speak French more fluently than I did. Moreover, I liked to share with him certain medicines for his family in Vietnam, too.

Hoang and I joyfully and excitedly brought a heavy box of medical items to my room at Drancy, where we nervously opened it. First by curiosity, we wanted to see what would be in that box, secondly to congratulate ourselves for having something to send to our beloved ones in Vietnam - for the first time in more than a year after having left them... over there. "Medicine! All medicine!" shouted out Hoang, joyfully, happily. Me too, I was enthusiastically surprised seeing that much medicines of all categories and forms and colors. To tell the truth, I didn’t know what category of medicine was for which illness. But who cares? I did only know that my Confreres and relatives in Vietnam would greatly appreciate for receiving such a "big and heavy gift box".

The first gift I sent to Vietnam was a box full of many sorts of medicine which weighted 15kg (about 30 pounds) and Hoang to his family 5kg (about 10 pounds). I didn’t forget to insert into the gift box a letter to Brother Greùgoire Taân asking him to let me know how many times per year he could receive gift-boxes. That’s because at that time, the communist government had restricted the number to four times per year that each family register (Cf. Journal 1, page 79) could receive of any sort of gifts from any foreign countries.

Less than three weeks later, I received a letter from Brother Greùgoire, confirming that the restriction of four times per year by each family-register was still effective, BUT "Don’t worry! I can ‘deal’ so that I could receive gifts as many times per year as you can send them..." he wrote. And I trusted him, knowing that he knew "how to deal."

***

One friend of mine who had been in Paris several years before told me, "If you want to send gifts, particularly French medicine, to your family, the best resource would be VINA-Paris at meùtro Nationale, from where you may mail (like from any post office, but with less cost than from the post office) and where you may buy standardized gift-box, i.e. 5kg or 10kg each box."

Hoang and I went to VINA-Paris and discovered that it had been an organization of North Vietnam longtime before 1975 whose duty was to collect money in supporting the communist party of the North. We were first reluctant visiting it. The workers at this store were from North Vietnam, recognized by the accent of their speaking tone. I didn’t know whether they had been here before or after the fall of Saigon in 1975. However, they seemed more gentle and polite than men and women who had moved into Saigon after 1975 and that I had met when I still was in Vietnam. Who cares anyway, at least for now after more than nine years? Being in contact and sending my Confreres and relatives "something they really needed" was more important after all.

***

Beginning from February, 1985, Hoang and I "visited" Ordre de Malte on the basis of once per month. At the end of each visit, we brought home about 30kg of medicines.

It was true that not all of them were in good shape, i.e. certain boxes had been opened and were 1/2 or 2/3 or even 3/4 emptied. There were many tablets which contained only one or two capsules, etc. In addition, some medicine boxes’ and tablets’ deadlines were about to expire. After selecting medicaments still usable, we could get more than 25kg. I then decided to sent to Brother Grégoire a 20kg box and to my family and Hoang’s the remaining - through the service of VINA-Paris. Brother Grégoire every time sent me a telegram attesting that gifts receiving had been... marvelous!

Brother Roger, who had observed our successful sending to and receiving from Brother Grégoire for the third time, suggested that I look for a way to "insert dollar bills" on the next sending. I noticed that on the heap of medicaments I had brought home from Ordre de Malte, there were lots of sachets (small disposable bag, often used to contain single-use quantities of consumer goods, or medicine.) I carefully examined the sachet and found out "how to insert dollar bill" on the next sending medicaments box in May. After "inserting" dollar bill inside a sachet - because it was the first time, I attempted to try only one sachet with a 100 dollar bill.