I was sitting facing Brother Joseù who sat on a big sofa really relaxed and comfortable. He started talking about the very beginning of the Institute. He emphasized the necessity of the formation and training of good teachers, etc... While listening to his talk, my memory got back to the Jubilee 100th Year of the La Salle Taberd school in 1974. At the official reception which gathered Representatives of different Religions and Congregations or Orders, of the Government, of different Organizations and Associations, etc. Mr. La Thanh Nghe, representing the whole Body of La Salle Taberd school, offered to Brother Joseù Pablo a precious glazed terra-cotta disk that belonged to the Royal Family of Emperor Tu Duc more 100 years earlier. Nobody knew how the disk dropped down from Brother Joseù Pablo’s hands and was broken. After that event, many VIP whispered among themselves that "it was a bad omen for the country in general, and for the La Salle Education System in Vietnam in particular".

Brother Superior General continued, "Si notre Fondateur eùtait maintenant devant toi, Il te parlerait les meâmes choses que je viens de te parler, n’est-ce pas?" (If our Founder were now present before you, He would tell you the same things that I just said, wouldn’t he?) I vaguely nodded without a word. Brother Joseù asked, "Eh bien, maintenant, dis-moi pourquoi tu veux aller aux EÙtats-Unis pour tes eùtudes, au lieu de continuer tes eùtudes aø Paris." (Well, tell me why you want to go to the USA for your Computer Sciences instead of continuing your studies in Paris?) I summarized in a few words the reason why I couldn’t enroll to the Computer Sciences at any university in Paris, then added, "I think that Computer Sciences do not require as much language as other classes. Moreover, I am more confident with the Math that could help me in Computer Sciences."

Brother Superior General seemed to take the gauge of something for a few seconds, then looked at me and asked, "Apreøs tes eùtudes, es-tu preât aø retourner aø Paris pour travailler avec tes confreøres?" (After graduation, are you ready to return to Paris to work with your confreres?) I replied, "Je n’ai pas encore penseù aø ce probleøme, mais si tout va bien, je ne vois pas la raison pour rester aux EÙtats-Unis." (I haven’t thought about this issue. But, if everything is in good shape, then I don’t see any reason for staying in the USA.) Brother Superior General seemed to be satisfied with my reply, nodding his head. He suddenly stood up, then said, "Va appeler Freøre Alexandre de venir ici!" (Call for Brother Alexandre to come here!)

On the way back to the Brother Superior General’s office, Brother Alexandre inquired from me, more or less cautiously, "How are things going? Did Brother Superior allow you to go to the USA?" I replied promptly, "I don’t know. What I do know is that he wants to meet you at his desk..." Brother Superior General was sitting at his desk, a large one with much stuff on it. He showed Brother Alexandre and me to two seats in front of him on the other sdide of the desk. He said, "Entre nous trois, Alexandre, tu es teùmoin de ce que je vais dire: ‘Je suis compleøtement d’accord que Valeùry aille aux EÙtats-Unis pour ses eùtudes en Informatique’." (Among three of us, Alexandre is witness of what I am saying: ‘I completely agree that Valery go to the USA for his Computer Sciences studies.) I smilingly looked at Brother Joseù Pablo, nodding and whispering, "Merci Freøre Supeùrieur Geneùral" (Thank you, Brother Superior General!) Brother Alexandre seemed to be very surprised, looking at me as if inquiring "What happened?", then looked at Brother Superior General, saying, "Yes! Brother Superior General!" Brother Superior General continued, "Alexandre, tu vas faire toutes deùmarches neùcessaires pourque Valeùry aille aux EÙtats-Unis le plus toât possible." (Alexandre, speed up all necessary formalities for Valery to go to the USA as soon as possible.) Brother Alexandre promptly replied, "Oui, Freøre Supeùrieur Geùneùral!" (Yes, Brother Superior General.) Brother Superior General asked, "Alexandre, as-tu besoin de quelque chose, comme papier d’authorisation ou d’attestation... ? En tout cas, je vais teùleùphoner au Freøre Visiteur du district de Baltimore pour lui annoncer la nouvelle de notre rencontre entre vous, Valery et moi." (Alexandre, do you need something more, like a recommendation letter or certain certificates of authorization or attestation...? Anyway, I am telephoning to Brother Visitor of Baltimore District to inform him about our meeting between you, Valery and me.)

On the train back to Paris, Brother Alexandre seemed to be not quite convinced of Brother Superior General’s decisive statement about my going to the USA for my Computer Sciences studies. We sat side by side on the couchette, and I noticed that from times to times, he glanced at me as trying to figure out "what had happened at the interview which Brother Superior General that I had had several hours before." At the end, he asked, "What did you say to Brother Superior General so that he agreed to let you go to the USA for your studies? I met him just a few minutes before you and he had said that ‘it’s absurd allowing Valery go to the USA.’ What did you say to him?" I smiled, then answered, "Just what I had explained to you about different reasons why I thought it’s better for me to go to the USA for my Computer Sciences studies. Nothing else!"

At the monthly meeting of all Vietnamese Brothers whether belonging to the Sub-District of Saigon in Paris or not, Brother Alexandre announced that "Brother Superior General has completely agreed that Valery go to the USA for his Computer Sciences studies." There were whispering, something like "Where in the USA?" or "Is it necessary that Brother Superior General intervene in the Sub-District’s affairs, specifically on this matter?" etc. Although there was no need, I still presented, publicly and officially, to the assembly my request and willingness to go to the USA for my studies. And I didn’t forget to ask the assembly - even just as a formality - for approval. Of course, unanimously they approved! (Was it because Brother Superior General had decided earlier? - I didn’t know.)

***

I was preparing for the Lunar New Year 1986, Year of the Tiger, in collaboration with some former students and friends. Many of these friends had been in Paris three of four years before the event of 1975 and some of them were graduated just on the event of April 30, 1975. They hadn’t known the La Salle Brothers and their schools in Vietnam. But, thanks to the activities of ALDER which focused on safeguarding Vietnamese Tradition and Culture, they came to join their compatriots on certain occasions like Tet, Mid-Autumn, etc. to satisfy their souvenirs d’antan and honor their nostalgia for their homeland.

There were musical and art performances on the Lunar New Year’s Eve. Brother Alexandre informed all Vietnamese Brothers that Brother Joseù Pablo would come to visit the Sub-District of Saigon in Paris on the First Day of Tet. He might have a personal meeting with each of the Brothers followed by a meeting with the whole Sub-District at Drancy.

While waiting for the general meeting, some Old Brothers discussed Brother Superior General’s main goal for such a visit which had been more or less unexpected. "Does he intend to dissolve the Sub-District of Saigon in Paris?" suggested a Brother. "Maybe not!" said someone. "But if it’s his purpose?" continued the previous Brother. "If so," several voices could be heard, "we should make petition keeping it alive because it’s the only means for the La Salle Vietnam Family Overseas to be in contact with the District of Saigon..." etc.

Brother Superior General began the general meeting with these words, "Peut-eâtre quelques uns d’entre vous pensent que je viens ici pour dissoudre le Sous-Dictrict de Saigon?"

(Some Brothers perhaps think that I come here today to dissolve the Sub-District of Saigon in Paris?) The Brothers looked at each other, secretly and delicately smiling. Brother Superior General, still smiling, continued, "Pourtant, j’ai une chose treøs importante aø vous dire, c’est aø propos de ‘la mise en commun.’ Ce n’est pas moi qui le dis, mais c’est la Reøgle." (However, I have something very important to tell you. It’s relative to ‘the having everything in common.’ It’s not me who say it, but it’s the Rule.) The Brothers looked at each other, again, interchanged smiles which revealed something like a compassionate and understanding complicity.

***

The issue about "money" is really sensitive and delicate. It influences and rules seriously enough over any inter-personal relationship in general, over family life, i.e. between parents themselves and between parents-children, in particular. And none of the religious communities - as a family in certain sense - can be excluded. It’s true that certain socio-political happenings would influence and affect some regular "family/religious community train de vie. For example, family/religious community life in Vietnam have been disturbed, thus dramatically changed so much since the event of 1975 that the inter-personal relationship between Vietnamese people themselves seemed to be getting weird and weirder. Such a changing-life also affected relationship between them and other people worldwide. This revealed more or less concretely through irregularities against the norms or rules of life, especially in terms of... "money." One says that "Destitution generates crimes and thieves and more or less serious irregularities." And it has been true, clearly after the event of 1975 in Vietnam (Cf. Journal 1, page 105.) I was not that surprised when, at the meeting on the following week-end after the meeting with Brother Superior General, most of Brothers assented that "We have to adapt the Rules accordingly to the realistic circumstances of our lives." No comment!

At the Drancy community, whatever job each member had gotten, he was required to contribute 1,500FF/month to the community for miscellaneous expenditures like food supplies, electricity, gas, water, etc. Although I had benefitted from the District of Paris so-called "scholarship," such a scholarship was for study fees which the government education system obviously granted to all French citizens. All other expenditures were "on your own." Thanks to Brother Roger’s cleverness in search for help/assistance from different social organizations, I could cover my contribution to the community for three months.

Three months had passed. I was luckily able to obtain officially legal documents, i.e. Refugee Card, Resident Card (valid for ten years), I could, thus, benefit from Social Security Fund an amount of 2,000FF/month and for six months. I so could be "safe" and peaceful of mind for my studies at least for 6 more months in my contributing to the Drancy community. However, there were moments I didn’t feel comfortable, because such a life-style seemed to be not the one I had been used to live for nearly twenty years before, 1965-1984.

Six months of social welfare had passed... Although the community didn’t mention about "monthly payment," I felt that I was landing in an embarrassing situation. My former student, Huy Hoaøng (Cf. page 96,) informed that I could still get financial assistance from the government by applying as "an unemployed". I did it and I was approved to receive for six months an amount of 2,000FF/month as "jobless compensation" with a condition, however, namely,to show up monthly myself at the desk of Social Office, and to submit a kind of "job refusal" from any groceries or restaurants or shopping centers, etc. It was quite easy to get the latter one!

Times passed quite quickly. There was no more unemployed welfare, but I still was... jobless. Many times when I thought about the biblical verse of Saint Paul, "If a man does not want to work, he shall not eat," I felt more uneasy. However, I thought, "Who really doesn’t want to work? Even a homeless man/woman? I don’t think so. In his/her existential life, each one has to confront with his/her own situation, and most often, to accept things against his/her expectations."

Although the Brothers in the Drancy community never mentioned about "monthly contribution," I had been searching for jobs, anyway. One of my classmates in 1963 at Mont La Salle Nha Trang, was ordained priest into the Compieøgne Diocese in 1980, Reverend Antoine Neân. His sister’s family had been running a gas station nearby Drancy. He introduced me to his sister and requested that she hire me a number of hours during day times so that I could earn "something." She was to call me for more details of working times. Times came. She called to the Drancy community and, unfortunately, Brother Alexandre picked up the phone. A few words were said, then Brother Alexandre, becoming angry and frustrated, categorically replied, "NO! Impossible! Brother Valery cannot work at the gas station..." So I remained jobless.

An unexpected conflict between Brother Bosco and the principal at Colleøge des Enfants d’Auteuils where he had been teacher for some years (Cf. page 81) forced Brother Bosco to become... jobless like me. Both of us were looking for jobs, reading advertisements and job offers, etc. One day we discovered something we thought interesting for a job: "... de preùfeùrence, ceux d’origine d’Asie..." (... preferably for people from Asia origin...) But we were disillusioned: It was to bring cooking stuff and to knock door by door in intention to sell them. How could we do that?

I had personally written to the Centre de Recherche Scientifique applying for a job as advertised. And a few days later, I received the response, "... Ce n’est pas parce que vous n’eâtes pas qualifieù en tant que diploâmeù, mais parce que ce Centre de Recherche Scientifique est de preùfeùrence pour les citoyens Francais et nous en avons choisi un." (It’s not because you are not qualified as with your diploma, but because the Science Research Center is reserved to French citizens and we have chosen one.)

At the end of February 1986, I was informed from the Education and Social Office that I could apply for a vocational program for adults. I applied and a schedule for testing my capacity in math and knowledge in French language was set. I came on time for the test. The head examiner was surprised that my math had been "formidable (terrific!)" my French satisfactory "Ca va (OK!)." I was accepted, therefore, to attend the Classes d’Electroniques for 2 years. The government was to pay for board and tuitions. Wow! It sounded great! BUT, the starting dates were to wait, perhaps for 6 months, even a year. And at which location? Again, wait and wait... Perhaps somewhere far away from Paris...

***

At the beginning of March 1986, I received the approval letter from the District of Baltimore, which included the admission to La Salle University in Philadelphia. Brother Joseph Mahon, Auxiliary Visitor of Baltimore District, forwarded a package of application forms and necessary guidelines from La Salle University. There were two parts I had to do:

1. Getting from the American Embassy in Paris the necessary visa for attending La Salle University as foreign student;

2. Preparing to take the TOEFL (Test of English as Foreign Language,) and the score should be at least 520 points as required.

- "Getting visa to the USA would not be so easy, and maybe denied," it was my very first thought based on my own experience because I had gotten trouble on this matter many times since I was in the Palawan Refugee Center. Brother Superior General had perhaps the same feelings as mine, so he telephoned to Brother Arestoire, his Spanish compatriot living at Rue de Seøvres, and who used to deal with the Immigration Services Office on this matter, to help me get the visa to the USA. Brother Arestoire in uniform, i.e. black robe and white rabbat, led me to the US Embassy by way of metro. On the road to a metro station, at my surprise and shock, I saw a group of three young boys, in turn one after another, kneeled down face to Brother Arestoire and kowtowed to him. When young boys left, Brother Arestoire told me, "T’en fais pas! C’est comme ca, ces vauriens!" (Be not upset! It’s like that, these wicked boys!) On next time, Brother Arestoire brought a pile of newspapers. When I looked at him wide-eyes, he made a joke, "Maintenant, ces vauriens peuvent faire tout ce qu’ils veulent, je m’enfie!" (Now, these wicked boys can do whatever they want, I don’t care!) We laughed, joyfully. Indeed, Brother Arestore hid his face behind newsparpers while these "vauriens" mocked him and did what they wanted to!

At the first meeting with the American consulate, Brother Arestoire did good job in explaining to the consulate the reason for which I needed to go the USA, and who in the USA had sponsored me, etc... But by the end of the second meeting, with all required documents completed, the consulate said, "Next time, you, Brother, should not accompany this man." And pointing at me, he continued, "Come back in three days, alone, to be interviewed!" After interview, the consulate told me, "We are sending you, in two or three months, a letter informing you all about the visa." I so had to wait...

- Preparing for the TOEFL might be thing I had been most anxious about. Though my background in French has not been that bad, when I came to New Caledonia then to Paris, I still had some mispronunciation or lisp. My learning of English, especially listening to and speaking English would be harder. Sinh&Mai and Quang, my former Juniors in Santa Ana, sent me lots of brochures helping me prepare well to take TOEFL.