Some friends and former students had “rescued” Brother Dennis Nhon from the
“unwanted visit” of the police to La Salle Mossard in Thuc Duc on late evening
of January 3, 1975. Brother Dennis, while living in Saigon more or less in the
underground, was continually informed of the bad news from his confreres by one
of his closest friends. On many occasions, he had wanted to report in with
Brother Lucien, Visitor, but “It’s not time, yet!” as his friend suggested.
After January 4, 1975, during 10 consecutive days, the police called Brother
Lucien up to “work” at the detention center in Thu Duc and at the Religious
Services in Ho Chi Minh City. He was often requested to disclose Brother Dennis’
residence. He knew that Brother Dennis was at large but had no clue to his exact
whereabouts. Sometimes, he felt uncomfortable wondering “whether Brother Dennis
at large is good news or bad news.”
Two days after Brother Michel’s sincere confession, Brother Dennis decided to
come to meet Brother Lucien, Visitor at the Provincialate. But, he was sure that
there were secret agents watching over the Provincialate, annotating the ins and
outs of any persons in to and out from that house. One of his friends offered to
be in contact and to set a rendezvous with Brother Lucien.
He was disguised so well that Brother Visitor couldn’t recognize who he was at
first; Anyway, it was a bitter-sweet meeting with “the most wanted” at such a
critical time. Brother Visitor said to him, “I’ve been called up many times at
the detention center in Thu Duc, and at the Religious Services. Every time, the
investigators asked me: ‘Where is Brother Nhon?’ Last time, just 2 days before,
they proposed to release all the Brothers and Juniors if I showed them where you
are, now. What do you think?”
Brother Dennis answered, without hesitation, “Brother Visitor, first of all, I
am sorry for everything that had happened to La Salle Mossard last week. But,
frankly speaking, do you believe in their words?” Brother Visitor didn’t answer
immediately Brother Dennis’ question. Everyone knew that, not just because he
was calm by nature, but it really was a quite big challenge. In fact, there was
the experience of Brother Gervais who had returned to La Salle Community at Thu
Duc - accepting his advice - and then was put in jail. In addition, even Brother
Dennis Nhon showed up to the government, nobody couldn’t be sure whether the
other Brothers and the Juniors would be released from jail or not.
Brother Dennis understood very clearly what was going on in the mind and heart
of Brother Visitor. He had no choice, either. In the end, he said, “Brother
Visitor, it is not because I want to leave my confreres, nor because of my
irresponsibility. The problem is that if the communist government were
trustworthy, it would be worth it to be presented to them for the sake of the
brotherhood in regards of my confreres, but if the communist government is not
to be trusted, why do I have to sacrifice myself for nothing? I really have no
choice. To avoid such difficulties for you, I would suggest: Firstly from now
on, please never mention about my meeting with you, today; Secondly, please
allow me to leave the Congregation.” [By the end of 1986, I had an
opportunity to visit Mr. Dennis Nhon at his home in Kansas City. When I recalled
to him about a certain young lady asking for him on the morning of January 3,
1978, it seemed that he didn’t remember anything about it.]
***
January 11, 1975. It was my first Wednesday in jail. It also was my third day
being hung up at the window. At the detention center in Thu Duc, every Wednesday
was set as a day for families to “visit” their relative detainees, i.e. to bring
food supplies when available. However, “visit” meant without meeting face to
face. Families brought food supplies, e.g. soya bean powder, milk powder or
something like that, even some salty foods like steamed or dried fish, fish
sauce, etc. to the camp, the guards checked the visitor I.D., searched over all
the packages to be sure that there was nothing “illegal”, brought in the package
to the recipients.
Although still standing close to the window, I noticed that in Room #4, there
were more than a half of detainees who didn’t receive anything from their
families. However, at lunch time, those who had received food, shared in small
groups of their friends who, I guessed, had to share too when they had received
something from their families. There were some detainees whose behavior or
relationship with others had been more or less unfriendly, contented themselves
with the daily ration, and had to be content whether they did or did not receive
something from their families. But sometimes, I noticed, their eyes covetously
glanced at other groups who joyfully laughed and shared their lunch. I was
wondering when I would be like them, envious of food other than that provided by
the detention camp.
At 10:00P.M. a guard stood outside the other window, and as usual checked the
number of detainees in Room #4. The cell head said, “May I report to Officers.
Total number is 39.” He nodded, and then came to “my window”, un-cuffed my two
hands from the window bar. Thanks God! I thought that was finished. I was wrong!
I was handcuffed, but with more freedom to walk away from the window. I started
walking, but I fell down because my two legs, which were not active for 3 days
and 3 nights, refused to support my body. Cuong, Han and two other young men
came to help me, by massaging my two legs for a while.
***
As mentioned earlier, although I had been the last to come into room #4, I
was favored to be promoted to the 5th level instead of being assigned to the
“bed” at the “runway” according to the agreement of the whole Room #4
“community”. After three days without being able to sleep, it made me so tired
that once lying down, I kind of lost consciousness. I didn’t know how long it
had lasted when noisy mixed sounds woke me up. It was about 2:00A.M. on Thursday
January 12, 1978.
“New comers! There are two newcomers!” several detainees in room #4 shouted out.
In spite of many entreaties from the cell head, “May I report to Officers, Room
#4 is too crowded...” two men were pushed into Room #4. Although their hands
were not handcuffed, I guessed they were there for political problems, i.e. just
like me, they had been arrested because of certain connections with
anti-revolutionary, or at least some so-called reactionary Front or
Organization.
Indeed, they were from the Redemptorist Center in Thu Duc, about 2km from La
Salle Mossard. The Center had been “visited” by the police a day earlier, in the
late afternoon. It seemed that policemen had found in the outdoor aquarium,
abandoned for a long time before, a revolver so rusted that an expert in
weaponry couldn’t “click” it anymore. On the charge of “illegally hiding a
weapon”, all the inhabitants at this Center were dispersed. Two of them, Brother
Le in his 60’s and Brother Tuan, tall and healthy looking in his 30’s, were put
in room #4.
Brother Le looked at me then asked, “You are Brother An, I guess.”
- How do you know?
- I saw your photo handing the national flag red-yellow-star in front of the
toilets! I also saw the photo of Brother Anh, Director, holding an ammunition
box at the top of your house.
I smiled without saying a word. He continued, “I watched to the television on
Monday evening, and I knew that Brothers Anh, Hong, Dao and some other Brothers
were present at the scene while policemen dug in the garden and picked up
several guns. I doubted this show because I knew that you De La Salle Brothers
were never involved in politics. On the other hand, some priests of our
Redemptorist Congregation, e.g. Reverends Lan, Thanh, Chan Tin, etc. had been
involved too much in political activities even before ‘75. In particular Rev.
Ngoc Lan who, in mid 1972, invited 3 members of the Front of the Liberation of
South Vietnam to a meeting inside the Redemptorist Center . At 11:00P.M. they
had to leave but the police of South Vietnam had circled the property. Do you
know how they could leave, safely? Rev. Lan, wearing his black clerical robe,
had to drive them in a Jeep after giving each of them another black clerical
robe. It was terrible!”
I listened to Brother Le talking about what those Reverends had done in spite of
disagreeing with them and, I guessed, with his Superiors. I did remember one of
the flyers that, according to my understanding, came from the Inter-Religion
anti-revolutionary Front whose head was Rev. Vang, a Redemptorist. I asked, “By
the way, do you have any news from Rev. Vang?” He looked at me. I raised my two
hands wearing cuffs. He nodded then said, “Rev. Vang has been arrested and was
put in jail a month before Christmas ‘77. You know that before ‘75, he used to
strongly criticize the former government of Saigon; after ‘75, he led some
former officers and officials to fight against the revolutionary government. I
cannot understand why he had been so involved in doing politics; his job, as a
religious and priest, is that not enough for his social involvement?” We
laughed.
I glanced at his younger confrere, Brother Tuan, sitting near the “runway”,
totally dejected and depressed. He understood what I meant. It seemed he
hesitated for a few seconds, then he said, “That young guy had joined the
Congregation in 1974. He collaborated with Rev. Lan in expelling the Apostolic
Delegate, Mgr. Henri Le Maitre, in August 1975. He also joined the Communist
Youth of Ho Chi Minh Group, and became an applicant to that Group. He has worked
hard to be officially admitted as its member . It seemed that he would be
admitted in a few months, but I’m wondering whether what has just happened to
the Redemptorist Center could affect his admission.”
I could realize, later, why that young guy showed himself so depressed. He
stayed lonely without talking to anyone for several days after he was pushed
into Room #4. The detainees nearby heard him whispering something like “Oh no!
Impossible! They cannot treat me that way!”
One morning, on the way to the open restrooms, I saw Rev. Tien Loc, a
Redemptorist, in Room #10. He showed the joyful face as usually he did a long
time before, with toothless mouth but still charming. I raised my two cuffed
hands. He nodded then turned his head towards the room, and a few seconds later,
Brother Colomban Dao showed up beside Rev. Tien Loc. I smiled at both of them,
daring not to say anything because of the rule #5 “Strictly forbid to make
contact with other detainees in any other rooms.” Five minutes later, on the way
back passing through Room #10, Rev. Tien Loc seemed waiting for me. He raised
his right hand as making a blessing while he mouthed something like Pax Christi,
I bowed my head and whispered Amen! From then on, everyday passing by Room #10,
Rev. Tien Loc and Brother Colomban were waiting for me. Rev. Tien Loc made sign
of giving a blessing, and I bowed my head, and touched my face as making a sign
of the cross.
After seeing Rev. Tien Loc, I decided to talk with young Brother Tuan.
Contrarily from what I had thought about him, Brother Tuan was opened and
friendly, confiding to me, “Before ‘75, as you know it, there were many priests,
especially the Redemptorists, involved in the social justice issue following the
Vatican II Pastoral Constitution ‘The Church in the World of Today.’ The
revolution in ‘75 had been, I thought, a catalyst that could push us to fulfill
such a social justice ideal. Therefore, I had joined the Communist Youth of Ho
Chi Minh in 1976, and hoped to be admitted as an official member of the Group in
few months.” I cut short, “If so, why are you arrested and put in jail?” He
replied quite promptly, “I think I’ll be released soon, very soon!”
I didn’t want to continue the sharing and discussion on this matter because, I
thought, this “poor” young Brother had been rather too idealist, even fanatic. I
just had to wait for “how long it would be: ‘soon, or very soon.’”
***
On an afternoon of my 3rd week in jail, when Room #4 went to the water
container as daily scheduled, I heard someone from Room #5 nearby the water
container call, “Brother An!” That was Tien, the Junior, whom I hadn’t seen
since December 8, ‘77 when I was in Hue for my father’s funeral. I was so
overjoyed that I forgot rule #5 at the detention camp, “Strictly forbid to
contact other detainees in any other rooms.” I ran to the Room #5 door, and
tried to talk to Tien. He asked, “Where’s Brother Gervais?” I didn’t answer yet.
I suddenly saw Tien fleeing deep inside the room, and I felt something like a
keys chain beating on my head. “Come here!” the guard shouted while pulled me to
the middle of the cemented court. He continued to beat on my head and shoulders
with his keys chain, several times. I realized at that moment that I had
violated rule #5. It was too late, anyway.
When all detainees of Room #4 were back in the room and the door closed, the
guard called me from the door at Room #4. I went close to him. It seemed that he
hesitated for a few seconds, opened the door, and pushed me in, and then locked
the door and before leaving, he summoned the cell head, “You have to teach again
Mr. An again the rules of the camp, especially rule #5!”
Everyone in Room #4 took deep breath of satisfaction. The cell head said,
“Brother An! You’re lucky because it’s officer Hoa’s turn. He’s the nicest and
most compassionate of any other officers in this camp. If it were another
officer’s turn, you would be beaten much more cruelly.” Thank God!
I enjoyed my lucky day not for long! Just a few minutes later, I was called to
work. At the office, the interrogator was waiting for me. I hoped he would
un-cuff my hands, but with a look really indifferent and cold, he asked when I
had just sat in front of him, “Do you have anything else to confess?” I was
surprised, but still hoped to be released. Firstly, because I knew that Brother
Michel had confessed and took responsibility on everything that had happened
within the La Salle Mossard property. Secondly, I had all necessary documents
attesting that I had been out of city during the whole month of December 1977.
However, he looked at me, waiting for my reply, gradually getting impatient. To
be honest, I was confused, knowing not what and how to reply to his question. In
the end, I said, “I have answered every question you asked. I don’t know what
else I have to tell.”
He displayed a typewritten document then said, “Sign on this paper!” Like a
flash of mind, I thought “ I am really released, thank God!” Without reading the
contents of the document, I signed. Immediately, the interrogator ordered the
guards, “Hang him up at the window for 3 days and 3 nights.” It was like a bolt
from the blue. I was completely shocked. Only when someone took my arm
whispering “Brother An” and another one wiped my eyes moistened with tears that
I gradually realized that I had been re-cuffed to the window, and that I had
cried. Cuong and Han stood on my sides.
It was around 11:00 P.M. While Room #4 was quite quiet, all detainees had lain
down on their “bed” trying to get to sleep, I stood at the window, having been
more or less “familiar” with such position 2 weeks before. I tried to figure out
what had been typewritten on the paper I had signed without having read it.
Probably I acted from the false conviction that I would be released, arguing
that I had all legal documents certifying that I had been working for the
State-run company. Was I too subjective? I suddenly remembered my radical
reaction towards Brother Tuan’s sharing just a day before, in judging him as
“idealist, even fanatic.” And I learned from from that, that “it’s easier to
judge others than to judge oneself.” I realized that “Dialogue, true dialogue or
interpersonal communication, is not so easy!” Poor simpleton was I. Certainly I
regretted not reading the document before signing it. Anyway, to comfort myself,
I whispered “Whether you sign or not, it wouldn’t have mattered!”
***
On the early morning of the 3rd day after I was hung at the window, the guard
escorted a handcuffed gentleman holding his “small mobile toilet” from the dark
cell to the direction of the open air toilets, passing by in front of me.
Looking at the gentleman, I couldn’t temporarily recognize who he would be.
About 5 minutes later, the guard led that gentleman back to his dark cell. I
looked at his face, very carefully. He also glanced at me. We recognized each
other. That was Reverend Hien, Director and Principal of Our Lord’s School at
the monastery of the Trappists in Phuoc Son.
After the events of ‘75, Brother Archange Minh, FSC, was allowed to transfer
from the Brothers of the Christian Schools to the Trappist Order in Phuoc Son. I
had opportunity to visit him and my uncle, originally from Ngoc Ho, who had been
at the monastery for more than 30 years. My uncle led me to meet Reverend Hien
who came back to Vietnam from the United States a year earlier and assumed the
responsibility to administer the Our Lord’s School as Director and Principal.
Reverend Hien had not been a student of La Salle School, but he had occasion to
attend several sessions in Lasallian Pedagogy in Saigon, and to read some
pedagogical books by Saint De La Salle, especially “The Conduct of Schools” and
“The Twelve Virtues of a Good Teacher”. He said, “Although the book ‘The Conduct
of Schools’ had been written in the 17th century and by a French priest, its
values in terms of pedagogy and practical issues, are never obsolete. Thoughts
and advice contained in these books can be applied everywhere and at every time,
regardless local cultures and religions.”
...
I was wondering “How come that Reverend Hien, a Trappist, is also put in jail,
and the worst thing was in a dark cell like Tien and Brother Michel?”
As for a flashback, La Salle Mossard Community had been “visited” on January 3;
a week later, the Redemptorist Center was “visited”; and one more week later,
the Trappist Monastery was also “visited”. Whose turn in Thu Duc would it be
later on? And what would be the fate of other Congregations and Orders in other
cities?